My mother received this gem in her e-mail this morning:
---------- Forwarded Message ----------
BRITISH ARAB COMMERCIAL BANK LONDON,
NO:8-10MANSION HOUSE PLACE LONDON
EC4N8BJ UNITED KINGDOM
I WRITE TO INFORM YOU OF A CLAIM IN THE CUSTODY OF OUR OFFICE ADDRESSED
IN YOUR NAME WITH REF:WFT/AX/021/ACC.NO57198713634,WITH A CASH
STATEMENT OF 8 MILLION GREAT BRITISH POUNDS. THIS CASH WAS DEPOSITED BY MY LATE CLIENT MR.FLOYD LAWSON. AND THE FUNDS IS CURRENTLY BEEN MANAGED BY OUR BANK HERE IN LONDON.
BEFORE THE DEATH OF MY LATE CLIENT MR.FLOYD LAWSON, HE DEPOSITED THE
SUM OF 8 MILLION GRAET BRITISH POUNDS WITH OUR BANK,AND THIS FUNDS HAS
REMAINED UNCLAIM FOR YEARS NOW,CURRENTLY THE BANK IS LEFT WITH NO OTHER CHOICE THAN TO CONFISCATE THIS FUNDS IN THE BANK TREASURY. SO, AS HIS PERSONAL ACCOUNTANT I SEEK YOUR CONSENT AND COLLABORATION TO PRESENT YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN OF MY LATE CLIENT GOING BY THE FACT THAT YOU ARE NOT THE RIGHTFUL NEXT OF KIN TO MY LATE CLIENT,BUT BOTH OF YOU HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME, SO THAT THE SAID FUNDS AS STATED ABOVE THAT IS,THE SUM OF 8 MILLION GREAT BRITISH POUNDS CAN BE PAID INTO YOUR ACCOUNT INSTEAD OF THE BANK TO CONFISCATE IT AND SEND IT TO THE BANK TREASURY.
TO YOUR NOTICE THIS IS THE FIRST NOTIFICATION TO THIS CLAIM.
ON IDENTIFICATION WITH THIS CLAIMS, FURTHER INFORMATION TO THIS
TRANSFER AND THE COLLECTION OF THIS CASH DEPOSIT WILL BE MADE AVAILABLE TO YOU SOON AS WE PROCEED FOR THE CLAIM.THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING. I WAIT FOR YOUR MOST URGENT RESPONSE.
BRITISH ARAB COMMERCIAL BANK LONDON.
You know the concept, usually it's a Nigerian asking you to basically launder money in exchange for a cut. Those gullible enough to send account information back to them get taken to the cleaners. Nigerians know it as "419", after the section of Nigeria's criminal code dealing with fraud.
This time the poser claims to be an agent of an Arab/British bank. As you can see his English blows. Badly. Wish my mom had traced this gomer's IP. I really want to know where the hell he's really from.Anyhow, shamelessly stealing my operating concept from Steve H. of Hog On Ice , I am going to torment and bamboozle this guy as much as I can for my own amusement.
Hopefully this is a suitably naive-sounding reply:
You sent the enclosed e-mail to my mother recently. I am sorry to say she is not in a very good state to be conducting business right now; a week ago she was hospitalized for extensive oral surgery after a dreadful bull-milking accident. I myself sustained two broken ribs attempting to restrain the mad animal from injuring her any further.
At all events, until she recovers and my stepdad gets out of the methadone clinic, I'm holding a power of attorney to manage their affairs. My mother requires extensive medication and constant supervision; Her thrice-daily dose of tetrahydrocannabinol is hard to come by and expensive. Managing my stepfather's methamphetamine research laboratory is a difficult and time-consuming labor too, to say nothing of keeping up with my duties as Chapter President of the Carnival Worker's Union Local #45.
I really think we can work together great! My family has significant financial needs at the moment, since I have to run new plumbing for the outhouse and, as I said, mama's meds aren't cheap.
Let me know how I can help you in your efforts.
Michael Ockisard, Jr.
Methodist Laboratory Research, LLC
Trayler Park, Mississippi
Hah. Eat It.