Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Military bloggers make military impostor their bitch

All Your Poser are Belong to Us; or, Redlining the Bullshit Meter

There's a story receiving little to no mainstream media coverage, potentially huge in its implications: Jesse Macbeth, a male (I refuse to call such a worthless turd a man) claiming to be an Army veteran of OIF, has gone on camera posing as a former "Special Forces Ranger", claiming to have participated in battlefield atrocities on a breathtaking scale in Iraq in 2004.

Many inconsistencies in his story, dress, and "Army Photo" have come to light; also, nobody resembling him can be found in the archived graduation photos of classes from the U.S. Army's Ranger school, nor does there appear to be any record of him having served in any capacity at all. Not as a Ranger, a humvee mechanic, anything.

Does Macbeth think the entire Army just fell off the turnip truck one day, fully armed and chomping at the bit to waste some for'ners?

Macbeth claims that he joined the Army in 2001 and was "picked" for Ranger training. Not so. One has to volunteer for the training, they don't just go around and tap suitable candidates right out of their units. Based on the units he claims to have served with and the training he says he received, it's odd that this guy, claiming by the time he was 20 to have managed to go through basic, train at Ranger school (a time consuming thing in itself), spend 16 months in Iraq and then get processed for a medical discharge almost two years ago. He would have had to join the Army at age 16. Another no-go.

Minimum entry age is 17, WITH parental waiver (I know this because at that precocious age I enlisted in the Marine Corps; now I think on it, it's a bit odd how eager my parents were to sign those papers, heh).

When Macbeth claims to have been participating in massacres in Falluja (a campaign the unit he claims to have served with never had a hand in) in April 2004, he was in the process of being indicted in Pima County, Arizona for credit card fraud. He was also quoted in an April 12, 2004 news article in the ASU Web Devil as a participant at a coffee-shop protest. While he was supposed to be "killing haajis" (his words) in Fallujah. He's been a little busy with the Wayback machine, or maybe he had one too many acid blotters in the back lot of the Wendy's where he currently claims to work.

Milblogs are in the midst of an enthusiastic blogospheric blanket-party tearing this guy's story apart stitch by stitch, placing every aspect of his life under a microscope. We now know he was born Jesse Adam Al-Zaid, and legally renamed by his parents at age two. We know about his credit card fraud and current probation-violator status for that rap, and that he was only yesterday (5/23) issued a bench warrant in Pierce County, Washington for violation of a protection order and 4th-degree assault. Sounds like he's a little slap-happy with his wife in addition to being a piss-poor fraudster. Maybe he'll try some Nigerian 419 e-mail fraud next.

The Army has spoken out stating they have no record of him standing in their ranks. Macbeth is now the official milblogs' bitch. He wants to really serve? fine. We can find him a job sucking out porta-johns at military bases all over the world.

Hopefully the next time we see this prick on camera will be his perp-walk on the news.

UPDATE: In addition to the glaring uniform discrepancies everyone talks about, i.e. wrong unit emblems, wrong sleeve roll, beret worn with its fold on the wrong side, flat flag background; his pose is wrong too.

Macbeth looks like he's hunched over, resting an elbow on his knee. NOBODY poses for an official photo that way. You're standing at attention or in a modified rest position for an official pose. Did he get his picture taken at Glamour Shots or somewhere similar? If so, I'd like to see the rest of the roll, you know, the shots with the pink feather boa, the wigs, and shit like that.

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