Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Energy drinks and piss-poor lifestyle choices

A fool and his money...

7-Eleven Pulls "Cocaine" Drink

Who could possibly have seen this coming? THAT brand name? Never!

Yet another reason I point and laugh at Marketing majors. You can thank THOSE assholes for horrors such as spam, telemarketers, and that Head-On commercial which leaves me hoping that the guy who signed off on airing that particular ad was promptly drawn and quartered.

Oh well. Backtrack a little. I have a problem with energy drinks in general. There's something wrong with a concoction that sends my pulse up to 120 BPM sitting (being relatively healthy and a semi-regular runner, my resting heart rate is normally 50-60 BPM. Lying down, I've clocked in at 45.)

Marketed as pick-me-ups, aids for workouts, or enablers for all-night partying, energy drinks have in a very short time become a staple of many peoples' lives. A useless staple. A lifestyle short-cut for those who desire immediate results without the hard work (cf. weight-loss pills, the Fatkins diet, etc. etc. ad nauseam.

Need a pick-me-up to get through the work day? Lay off the Starbucks, put down the Rockstar, toss out the Full Throttle, and find an orange. Most fruits contain enough natural sugars to provide a decent burst of energy. It's something your body's been geared to over untold thousands of years to boot. Find the time to get at the root of your problem with dragging ass at 2 pm, i.e. eat right and exercise even if only for half an hour a day. Half an hour is a leisurely 1 1/2-mile walk! Or, if you're with me, a not-so-languid 3 1/2 mile run.

Looking to party until 6 am? Hell if you are in good shape you can do it anyway, as asinine as it is. Call it a night. Get your rest in so you don't drag ass at the aforementioned 2 pm.

If you find yourself relying on chemical shit to get yourself through the day, you might as well pack it in and call it a life.


steve said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
steve said...

Man, I love this... my 17 year old daughter, unlike my son, is very straight mainly because, unlike my son, she is a scaredy cat. She still saw fit to remark jokingly a few days ago that 'Coke was not as good since they took the Cocaine out"
I told her if she ever were to see a Coke Head on day 7 doing his last bump that she would not be too impressed.
Her remark shows just how insidious and pervasive this has become in our culture.
I loved the fiery spirit and content of your post.
(deleted the first copy, way too many typo's)