John Kerry: Jerkoff of the Century

They should have fragged him back in 'Nam

I held off on posting about this yesterday, waiting to see if sore loser/patrician, elitist sack of shit John F-ing Kerry would offer an immediate and credible apology for his disgraceful remarks.

His shameful statements have been broadcast so far around the internet and the dead-tree media that I shouldn't have to post any backstory. If you aren't familiar with the particulars of this story yet, you need to lay off the porn sites for a while, give it a rest, and catch up on what's happening in the world around you for a few days before returning to your pud-pulling marathon. Or you should just blow out what's left of your brains for being the sort of uninformed fool whose vote should be thrown out on general principle anyway.

The apology that Kerry finally "issued" after his initial vehement refusals, and his lame excuse that it was a "joke that backfired" was not so much an apology as a crude, incompetently-veiled attack against his opposition. As much as I gag at posting a link to Kerry's site, you can read it from the horse's mouth (and face) here.

Anyhow, I get pissed off very frequently (for reference, consult my entire archive of posts,) but it's rare that I truly see red and have to hide any firearms, throwable objects, or household pets lying nearby. Tuesday afternoon was one of those times. Once I got home and got Fox News going, I was greeted by the footage of that worthless pencil-dicked career politician's statement. Initial reaction: I wanted to kick a dog. I wanted to raze Martha's Vineyard to the ground and heap its rubble on that fuckhead's house. Preferably with him in it.

As I calmed down a little, I realized that a more practical and less destructive course of action would be to kick him in his chickpea nuts hard enough to leave him curled up in the fetal position, sucking wind and crying for his rancid bitch of a mother until well after the '08 election is in the history books. Now that I can put it in a little more perspective, I'm convinced that he's committed political suicide. Now I'm waiting for him to commit actual suicide.

It's a sad commentary on Massachusetts that Kerry, and that fat alcoholic bastard and Kerry's ideological fellow-traveler Ted Kennedy keep getting elected. The fact that those two have been allowed to remain in the same office for so long is probably the most persuasive argument in favor of term limits that I can think of.

For him to claim that his badly-conceived jibe was "a botched joke" is pernicious. It's disingenuous and follows a consistent and well-displayed tendency for Kerry to go where the wind blows. One of his staffers claimed that it was a cock-up of a prepared statement, but if so, I want to see the original and a fucking chain of custody on that scrap of paper. None of that back-dated forged Bush National Guard Memo crap that CBS tried to pull a couple of years ago.

It also tallies well with his long-established contempt for men and women in uniform (cf. the Winter Soldier hearings.) And the next time he refers to himself as a "combat veteran" someone should ram the medals from his shadowbox down his throat. His military service was little more than a glory-hunt for future political capital, and when public opinion set in firmly against Vietnam he sold out those with whom he had served for political expediency alone. A modern-day Janus.

When Kerry finally dies, I hope he doesn't request military honors. I'd hate to be one of the poor saps who has to bite his tongue to carry out that burial detail and keep a straight face.

John Kerry can kiss my (formerly) uniformed ass.