Autocide

Demise of the Lead Sled

Yes, those are duct-tape racing stripes. I was drinking (SURPRISE!) when I put them on. What you don't see here are the propeller blade-tape flames I put on the fenders behind the wheels.

My beater car snuffed it today while I was out playing hooky going through my checkout, getting all those irritating little boxes on the checklist signed off so's I can Get the Duck out of Fodge next week. One of those items was vehicle de-registration, getting the paperwork to junk my prized free car, and making arrangements to take it to the scrapyard tomorrow.

Well, long story short, the car beat me to it, the transmission going Tango Uniform on me out in town. So instead of driving it to the yard to get junked, I have to tow it. Bugger!

I've had the Lead Sled for about six months, acquiring it for free earlier this year. This is one of those Okinawa cars that gets passed around a unit like a joint at a Cypress Hill gig; shuffled from one owner to another for the low cost of a title transfer until it (a) breaks down, (b) is totaled, or (c) a desperate owner can't find another buyer. I'm its third owner in two years. When I took it over in January I knew it was going on its death ride with me. Must be karma- I've been telling everyone for months that the car only had to last until July, and so it has, with a few obnoxious modifications along the way. The aforementioned duct- and prop-tape styling. the Snoopy steering wheel cover. the "I'd rather be diving... (on your mom)" bumper sticker. Maybe if I had found some refrigerator magnets too...

It's sad, in a way. I became very attached to this car the last few months, having always had a special place in my heart for worn-out beaters. Get them cheap, drive them until they die, repeat the process. I have never owned a new car; all of mine have been acquired used. These days, I'm pretty good at keeping old heaps running. The Sled's transmission is probably easy to fix, but I have to be rid of it to leave the island anyway. The tired old Toyota has to be sacrificed for me to fly home. It's too bad I can't just roll it off a cliff somewhere and give the divers something to play around, and the fish an artificial reef.