Art History 102

Step into my gallery

Somebody needs to take the CD-ROM out of my art history book cover before I do this again. I can't stop myself. Seriously.

Most people think that mind-altering drugs have only been available in the last few centuries. Wrong. As evidence, here's a scene from Botticelli; everyone appears to be having an awfully good time considering they're out in the sticks. Every last one of them is high:
Sandro Botticelli, Tripping Balls, c. 1482. Tempera on wood with oil glazes. Galleria degli Uffizi, Florence.

They're not the only ones. Fur Traders on the Mississippi and Missouri needed a way to pass the long days on the river:George Caleb Bingham, We Are So Baked, 1845. Oil on canvas, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York.

Next up, did this guy take a spill or is it an attempt at "interspecies erotica" gone wrong? You decide.
Caravaggio, Bad Night in Tijuana, c. 1601. Oil on Canvas. Santa Maria del Popolo, Rome.

Far from being noble, loyal servants, General Officers' staffs in the British Army would steal anything not nailed down or closely watched:Benjamin West, Dibs on His Watch!, 1770. Oil on canvas, The National Gallery of Canada, Ottawa.

Art History 101

This is why I'll never be tenured

One of my first courses in school was an art history overview. I don't think well enough should be left alone, and I've had a few beers, so enjoy!

Domenico Ghirlandaio, "What's that on your nose, Grampa?" "Don't laugh you little bastard, you're next!", c.1480. Tempera and oil on wood ,The Louvre, Paris.

Here's a scene from Genesis, the expulsion from paradise:

Masaccio, GET THE FUCK OUT!, c. 1427, Fresco, Brancacci Chapel, Santa Maria del Carmine, Florence.

While I'm at it, why not tackle the death of Socrates?

Jacques-Louis David, Goddammit I said shaken, not stirred! Can any of you morons do anything right? 1787, Oil on canvas. Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York.

Or how about those horndog Arcadian shepherds?


Nicolas Poussin, For a good time, call... Hey, isn't that your number? c.1660. Oil on canvas, The Louvre, Paris.


I hope you've all enjoyed this tour of my twisted little art gallery. There's more to come.

R.

Inadvertent Art

All I'm capable of

I took this one on a sunset paddle recently. The camera's poor low-light focus allowed this ethereal shot. Very Munch-ish. "The Splash," anyone?
Or this blurry mess taken moments later:
Some have gone far with less....